Opinion, Parenting
Special Needs Parents: Asking for Help
I have many friends – some who have special needs kids and some who do not – and often times I think they are at a loss for what to say or do for me during one of the many crises our family has. When my son is struggling at school, or when my husband and I are fighting because we cannot seem to find a single second alone to speak about something other than the kids, or like last Spring when we were forced to hospitalize my oldest son, I find myself on the phone with one of my girlfriends venting, crying, and just letting it all out. During that type of conversation, where I am relaying some insane problem or trauma or dilemma, I am always amazed at how quickly my friends will say, “What can I do?” And you know what I say? “Oh, nothing. I’m OK.” But that isn’t true. What is true is that although it is hard to ask for help, I really don’t know what to ask for. What I should learn to say when my friends say, “What can I do?” is, “Please do anything.” Because I need help. With everything. Parenting a child with Autism, Bipolar, Sensory Processing Disorder and Learning Disabilities is like a high-speed car chase through life. I am sure that is the case for MANY parents of children with MANY other diagnoses as well. Which means to slow life down to a more manageable Sunday afternoon drive, at least for an hour or so, requires help. So the next time someone asks you, “What can I do?” Tell them. If you are at a loss for what to say, try these:- You can make dinner one night for our family
- You can pick my kids up from school
- You can take my child for a play date this weekend
- You can join me for a cup of coffee after the kids go to school
- You can help me fold laundry
- You can mow my lawn
- You can call and check on me tomorrow
