Humor, Parenting, Products

12 Items on Every Special Needs Parent's Wish List

People are always asking you what your wish list is this time of year. And sure, you could get clothes or jewelry or gadgets just like any other adult human. But how do you let people know that what you really want, more than anything else, is a nap? A moment or two of quiet? Maybe just a pat on the back every now and then? It's not like someone could just buy you those things on Amazon.com. Still, you could put together a wish list of items that address some of your daily frustrations in a humorous if not a totally useful way. Ask for some of this stuff, and maybe folks will get the idea.

1. A Little Privacy, If You Don't Mind

[caption id="attachment_23584" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Door Jammer Portable Security Device[/caption] Sometimes just asking people not to barge in when you're in the bathroom isn't enough.  

2. Blessed Peace and Quiet

[caption id="attachment_23585" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Noise Reducing Hearing Protection Ear Plugs[/caption] Whining, tantruming, disagreeing with my parenting philosophies? I can't hear youuuuuuu.  

3. A Gold Star Now and Then

[caption id="attachment_23586" align="aligncenter" width="200"] Gold Star Stickers[/caption] Schoolkids aren't the only ones who appreciate being appreciated.  

4. Suit of Armor

[caption id="attachment_23592" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Knight in Shining Armor Costume[/caption] For riding into IEP battle. Or reading online comments.  

5. Acknowledgment of Rightness

[caption id="attachment_23593" align="aligncenter" width="300"] "I Don't Argue, I Explain Why I'm Right" T-Shirt[/caption] Get that, children, educators, doctors, spouse?  

6. Graphic Representation of Time Wasted

[caption id="attachment_23587" align="aligncenter" width="294"] Hand-Blown Hourglass[/caption] As I watch the seconds of my life fall away while I sit on hold with the insurance company, at least it will look pretty.  

7. The Illusion of Organization

[caption id="attachment_23583" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Mom's Family Calendar by Sandra Boynton[/caption] We'll only keep it up for a few weeks before our life flies out of control, but it's a nice dream.  

8. Wait Timer

[caption id="attachment_23591" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Digital Stopwatch[/caption] Doctor, do you know exactly how long we've been cooling our heels in this examining room waiting for you? I do!  

9. Extra Hours in the Day

[caption id="attachment_23582" align="aligncenter" width="300"] "This Is Where You Fell Asleep" Bookmark[/caption] Sleep is always messing up my post-midnight reading time. When am I supposed to fit this in exactly?  

10. An Office Staff

[caption id="attachment_23590" align="aligncenter" width="400"] Wireless Busines All-in-One[/caption] "Yes, I can fax that to you/bring you copies/scan and e-mail it to you."  

11. All the Coffee in the World

[caption id="attachment_23588" align="aligncenter" width="286"] Gigantic Coffee Mug[/caption] Gotta get that energy from somewhere.  

12. ... or Maybe Just a Glass of Wine

[caption id="attachment_23589" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Jumbo Wine Glass[/caption] Every day's a "Don't Even Ask" kind of day.