Special Education

Individualized Education Program: Getting the best for your child

What happens when we disagree? A look at parents and educators getting together at school meetings… Not often, but sometimes, when we gather a team together of parents and professionals to discuss the educational needs of a child, we don’t always agree.  You can be meeting at your child’s school to discuss any number of things:

• Discovery of findings from a full scale evaluation
• Goal setting and accommodations
• Placement changes for Special Education
• Re-evaluation or termination from Special Education

These are just a few examples of what the “team” (Psychologist, Social Worker, Special Education Director, Principal, Teachers, Other professional specialists…) may be discussing at a meeting.  So what happens when either the parents or one of the school’s team members don’t agree? We want to go in with an open mind that everyone has the best interest of the child in mind.  That being said, sometimes certain things are difficult for parents to hear from the professionals.  It’s often hard for parents to swallow the information they are hearing about their child for the FIRST time in this meeting.  And sometimes, both parents don’t feel the same way.  For example,  I recently attended a meeting to determine a child's eligibility for Special Education.  The findings spoke for themselves; the child had an undisputed Learning Disability, and thus had been struggling in school.  It seemed straight forward, but it wasn’t. As the educators started discussing goals and accommodations, the mother started crying and the father started saying that he didn’t want “his kid to be different.”  Dad felt that the child was “getting by” well enough that he really didn’t need to be in “Special Ed.” I could see where this was going and I started to get concerned, the direction of this meeting needed to stay on topic.  This boy needed to be educated in the best way he is capable of learning.  There is a lot of stigma associated with Special Education; it is very real for parents and children, especially the ones who get diagnosed at older ages. Now let’s look at another perspective.  What if the school feels one way and the parents feel another?  This can present itself in so many ways that we can’t get too in depth about it.  Ultimately, there are two things you should know as the parent.  One, if the district feels you are not acting in the best interest of your child and that you are keeping services from the child, they can take you to court.  Second, YOU have a right to fight for services and accommodations you feel your child needs if you feel they are being denied! Here is the bottom line on this topic.  We really want to work together as a “team.”  We want to have a good working relationship with the school district we live in and send our child to.  That doesn’t always happen so easily.  Being in a team meeting can be extremely overwhelming when you are surrounded by a bunch of professionals and educators.  Do yourself a favor. Bring someone along who can help you stay focused, un-emotional and on top of things! That person can be a friend, an outside therapist, or an advocate. It's only natural to be emotional and a little defensive when entering into one of these meetings.  So, don't beat yourself up for having these feelings and don't question yourself if you find you disagree with the school's team. Everyone is trying to have your child's best interests at heart and get his/her needs met. A neutral, non-emotional person who speaks and acts solely on the behalf of the child is a valuable tool in a team meeting. They can explain things to you in a gentler, kinder way.  They can make suggestions that the team may not think of because they don’t work for the district.  It is just a different perspective.